Your case is very strange. Once you set the "Preferred splitters", you should be done, and you should have seen the LAV icons. Maybe you haven't check the "Enable System Tray Icon" in LAV settings?
Anyway, I have some 8k videos which played just fine while a 7k video could not. I looked around and found out that if the video's color format is yuv420p 8bit, then it will be fine, the GPU decoder will go up to 90%.
But if the video's format is yuv420p 10bit, then my GeForce 1080 just cannot play anything over 5k smoothly, the GPU decoder will go up to 60%. The video will be slow and choppy.
So in order to play those video, I have to transcode them to 8bit. The transcoded video file, even with the same frame size, codec and bit rate, play smoothly in DeoVR again.
Maybe our admin @Yar here can help us dig deeper?
P.S. My ffmpeg command to transcode:
"C:\ffmpeg\bin\ffmpeg.exe" -hwaccel cuda -i "%1" -vf "format=yuv420p" -c:v hevc_nvenc -preset slow -f matroska -b:v 30M -maxrate: 40M -c:a copy "%~dpn1-out.mkv"
put the above line in a file like "10bitTo8bit.cmd" , then just drag your video file onto this cmd file.